Eyes so similar to yours
by Daisy96ouat
Summary: What if Kate had had a big secret; what if this secret was revealed after she'd been shot? AU
1. Chapter 1

Mistakes are the only thing I own.

* * *

It was the last thing he would think about. He knew someone was after her. He knew that sooner or later she would get hurt because of that case. What he didn't know was that it will happen at the funeral of their captain, while she was giving her speech. He didn't know that he won't be able to save her. He didn't know that she will be dying when he first tells her his feelings. Well... life is full of surprises, right?

He was watching her die. He was watching Lanie trying to rescue her, which she probably did. He was in too big of a shock to do anything on that grass when she was lying beneath him with a bullet in her chest. He wasn't able to save her from the sniper, from the men who killed her mother, from her obsession. Montgomery, even her father, thought that he was the only one being able to stop her. And he failed. He failed her so many times that day and the only thing he could do now was to pray for her life, for her to be alive, for her to forgive him and for her to remember that he loves her. He just felt so useless, watching her in the ambulance. Just watching and praying. Being afraid of losing the most extraordinary woman he had ever known. Noone before made him feel this way. Noone before was as stubborn, frustrating, maddening, beautiful and kind as Katherine Beckett. And he knew for sure that noone will ever replace her. He was helplessly in love with that women, so despite remembering about her dying, he was lost in a memory from not that long ago.

 _It was the 9th of January. That day they didn't have a case, so she was catching up with paper work, told him not to come because there was nothing for him to do. So he stayed at home wondering how she was feeling and what she was doing every year on that day. Was she meeting up with her father? Was she sitting alone in her apartment, crying and thinking about her mother? Was she drinking to not be able to feel the pain? Or maybe she was treating that day as any other, not wanting to open up the wounds even more? The last possibility he never wanted to consider was Josh helping her with the demons of that day. But he knew Kate, he knew that she would never show him her weakness and pain. That she will never open up to Josh as she opened up to him. Because he was sure Kate never loved that men._

 _So later that night he dressed up, bought a cup of coffee and chocolate, picked up a couple of movies and called a cab to her apartment. When he was standing at her doorsteps, for a while he thought that it was a mistake, but the need of helping her was stronger. Taking a deep breath he knocked on the door and waited with his heart pounding as crazy. When she opened the door his heart nearly broke up. She had no make-up on, her hair was tied in a loose ponytail, her eyes were wet from tears, but she wasn't crying now. He was sure she stopped when she heard the knocking. Looking at her the only thing he wanted to do was to hug her and never let go. But she would've probably killed him, wouldn't she?_

 _"Castle, what are you doing here?" she asked, her tone a little bit irritated. He knew she wasn't pleased with his visit, but he was sure she needed him._

 _"I brought coffee for you and something to watch, you can pick something, here" he gave her a package with DVD's and walked through the door in spite of lack of invitation._

 _Kate closed the door and followed him inside, looking at his silhouette positioned on her couch._

 _"And may I ask, why do you think I would like to watch something with you now, Castle? I don't recall inviting you."_

 _Typicall Kate, he thought. Normally, he would come up with something funny to cheer her up, but that day? She needed honesty, somebody to be there for her, somebody to lean on. So he decided to bury his inner 9-year-old-on-a-sugar-rush inside._

 _"Because I don't want to you to be alone, Kate. So let me sit here with you, watch something together, talk if you need to. You can even ignore me, but I'm not leaving."_

 _For a moment he thought that she will kick him out as soon as he told her that. He was sure that it will be the end of their friendship, partnership but she surprised him in the best way possible. She sat beside him, took the chocolate he offered and picked up one of the movies he brought, telling him to play it on, so he did. Somewhere in the middle of the seance, she fell asleep, so risking once more during that evening, he positioned her in his lap and started to play with her soft hair. She did not move, so he hadn't stopped. He just looked at his broken muse, completely ignoring the tv screen. He just wanted to take all of her pain, he wanted her to be happy._

 _He was sitting like that till his phone vibrated, looking at it he saw that Alexis was calling him, so he turned the tv off, picked up Kate and carried her to the bedroom. What he found on her bed surprised him - there, in the middle of her pillow, was laying a plush elephant. Castle never dreamed that she would have such a thing, but today was special and she most likely got it from her mother. Those days it probably was giving her some kind of comfort. So he decided to forget about it, kissed her in the temple and with one last look walked out the door and smiled. She let him comfort her. He was with her in her misery. Even doe they weren't talking, he was happy. Because at the end of the sad day he was the one she let in, not Josh, not anybody else - just him. And maybe, just maybe, that meant she had feelings for him after all?_

"Where's Katie? Where is my daughter?" familiar voice snatched Castle from his memories. He looked up, a little embarrassed, because how could he look in the eyes of a man whose only child was now in surgery? But he must, right? So he looks up and the same second he does the writer is lack of word. There, in front of him with a little girl in his arms is standing Jim Beckett, and all he can see in that kid are green eyes, so similar to the ones he knows all too well from 4 years now. 

* * *

Thoughts?


	2. Chapter 2

"Mr. Beckett, she, um..." Castle started, but stopped after a second, because what he was supposed to say? And the presence of a little girl didn't make it any easier for him, so he just looked at Alexis as to say her that he would really use her help right now. She just looked at him sadly and walked over to Kate's father.

"Hi... I'm Alexis" she talked directly to the girl. "Your, um" she looked hesitantly at Jim, and as on cue, he took over the conversation.

"Mr. Castle is Alexis father, honey. You know, Mommy talked with you about him, so maybe you would like to know her, hm? You could take her to the playroom and show her..."

"Can I go see Sophia, grandpa?" the child in Jim's arms asked suddenly. Rick and all of the team just stood there shocked and terrified at the same time, completely not knowing what to do or say.

"If she wants to, then I don't see why couldn't you."

"Will mommy be there when I come back?"

All of them fell silent after that question.

"Grandpa?" she insisted. "Will she?"

Jim just took a deep breath and tried to smile at the girl. "I think that Mommy's going to do her best to see you there, Honey."

" 'Key" she agreed and turned to Alexis, who was still standing beside them. " So, Alexis, do you wanna go with me to see my friend?" she asked after a moment without any shyness, what surprised the redheaded teen a little, but she just looked at Castle, smiled at him as to say 'everything is going to be fine' and then took the little brunette's hand.

"Sure, I'd love to. Let's go" Kate's daughter smiled at that and came down of her grandfather's grip.

Everybody just looked at the girls walking away from them, still shocked, not believing what the hell just happened. Because how could Kate Beckett have a child and keep it a secret from all of them? Especially from Castle? But, she was a private person after all and always had a good reason to hid something, wasn't she?

Castle was the first one to break the silence, suddenly remembering why they were here at all.

"So, Kate" he started, looking sadly at Jim. "I'm sorry, Mr. Beckett. I couldn't" his voice broke a little "I just couldn't save her, I was too late, she's..."

"Take it easy Rick, just tell me what happened to my daughter, what is going on?" he asked, taking a step in the writer's direction.

"At the funeral" he sat down, Jim following right behind him "there's been a... a snipper, and" he took a deep breath "and she's been shot, I couldn't get to her on time, I couldn't stop her. I'm.. I'm so sorry, Mr. Beckett" he ended quietly, not even once looking at the man beside him.

"Is she...?"

"She's in a surgery, Mr. Beckett" Lanie said, speaking for the first time since they came there. "But she was shot in the chest, she was unconscious and... we hope she will be ok." She hugged Esposito with new tears in her eyes.

They were quiet after that, nobody knew what to do, what to say, they just hoped that their friend, daughter and loved one will be okay. The only thing Castle known for sure was that he will never forgive himself if her daughter will end up without a mother because of him. He also knew that he will help her in every way he can, because now when he saw that little girl... hell, he had to know her better, he had to take care of her and Kate, if only she'll let him. Sure, she never told him, or anybody else, that she's a mother, but his name was Richard Castle after all and even if he was mad and her in that moment for having such a big secret, even if he was scared right now that she's not gonna make it, his love for her was bigger.

* * *

( _Meanwhile_ )

"So" started Alexis, stepping into an elevator. "You want to tell me your name?" she asked with a smile, looking at the not-so-shy girl.

"I'm Hope, and I'm six."

"Six, huh? I guess you like princesses, hm?"

"No. Princesses are too perfect, they always have a happy ending, they're just too unreal, you know?" she asked sadly.

"How come?" asked Alexis, now curious how a six-year-old could not like them.

"Because my life is not perfect, my friends life is not perfect. We can't do a lot of things."

"Really? Like what?" What was she even talking about? She was just a kid, she should be happy, she should be catching butterflies in the park, not talking about her "not perfect" life.

"I can't run, for example. It's sad, because mommy loves to run, and I would love to do that with her, but I just can't."

"Why can't you?" she asked, a little bit alarmed. At the same moment, the elevator stopped and Hope stepped out into a department of pediatric cardiology.

"Because I had a sick heart. I had a surgery and mommy says it's good now, but I still can't run and do anything that can make me tired." She explained, at the same time waving at one of the nurses and making Alexis completly speechless. "Come on, we'll see Sophia, her heart's still sick and she has to be there, but she likes when I'm visiting her."

Alexis followed right behind her without saying a word, sadness written on her face. Oh, Kate.

* * *

 **Author's note** : Okay, so there is the second part. At first, I wasn't sure I was going to write it after some of the reviews, but thanks to _myincoherentthoughts_ I did. I would also like to thank you _myincoherentthoughts_ for your words, they really meant a lot to me.

I'd also like to thank all the people who follow this story, it's really nice feeling to have some readers after all :D

And thank you for all of the negative reviews too, I respect them and I'm thankful for yours honesty, and I really don't want to make any excuses, but... I just read like a 3 or 4 stories where Kate had a daughter and I really like this topic, so I decided to write something about it as well. Also, I'm treating this story as some kind of a test. I'm trying to improve my English a little bit and I hope that it's gonna help in some way.

And the last thing - I'm a little bit insecure about this chapter and I know this is a little brief, but I hope you liked it at least a little bit :)


	3. Chapter 3

Two hours later in the waiting area stayed only Rick, Jim and Lanie. Boys said that they were going to the 12th to see if somebody knew anything about the snipper and Martha left them in order to go change and bring some clothes to her son as well. Apart from saying "keep in touch" no one told another word.

Jim was still sitting beside Castle, from time to time looking in a direction of elevators to see if his granddaughter was approaching them. It's not like he was really worried about her, after all, she wasn't alone and knew this hospital. He was sure she was safe but after today's' events he was getting a little bit anxious.

Castle, on the other hand, was staring at the doors leading to the operating room, waiting for any information about the surgery. He didn't put much thought into the girls' location since Jim seemed to know exactly where they went. His mind was focused on the woman he loved and whose life was in danger now. He tried to find some kind of an explanation to why she never mentioned her daughter. He knew she trusted him, he knew her better than anybody else... or did he? After all, he just found out about her secret life. But he would never judge her because he knew she always did what she thought was best.

"So..." Rick said, not wanting to wait any longer for some information about the girl. "Kate has a child."

Jim looked at him with a sad smile.

"Yes. Yes, she does." he paused, and after a moment added, "Her name is Hope."

"Hope" Castle whispered. "Why Hope?" he asked. The writer all the time thought that her name would be Johanna, after Beckett's mother, but this was a surprise for him.

"I think that Katie is the person you have to ask about everything, Rick."

They fell silent again, Lanie just looked at them thinking about how everything could turn up in such a mess.

"But," Jim said. "You have to know that Hope is the best thing that happened to Katie after Johanna died. She loves her more than anything, I can just imagine that you love your daughter just as much. Hope loves life, she's the purest person alive, kind, with a big heart."

In that moment the elevator doors opened and Alexis with Hope in her arms stepped out. The little girl reached her hands to Jim as soon as she saw him. He sat her on his legs and Alexis took a seat beside her father, putting her head on his shoulder.

"Thank you for taking care of her" Jim told to Alexis. She just smiled at him and nodded, then looked sadly at the girl and next at Castle.

"I love you, dad" she whispered.

"I love you too, pumpkin" he responded, at the same time squeezing her arm. "Listen, why don't you go home, hm? Get some sleep, eat something."

"Dad..." she protested.

"Alexis, please."

She glanced at her father.

"Okay, but please, call me if you'll know something. I care about her, too" she agreed, kissed his cheek and then stood up.

"Okay, pumpkin. Now go, but be careful."

"Always am" she told him, and looked at Hope. "Hey, little one, see you later."

"Promise?" she asked in a weak voice. Jim looked at her alarmed.

"I promise" Alexis told, then nodded to Lanie and headed to the elevator.

"What's wrong, Honey?" Jim said to his granddaughter.

"I'm tired" she admitted, her voice was barely heard.

"Maybe you'll sleep a little?"

"No, I can't sleep yet" she protested.

"Why not?"

Castle and Lanie were listening to their conversation with curiosity.

"I have to wait for mommy." Jim took a deep breath and Castle could swear his heart just broke a little bit more.

"Listen, Honey..." the older man paused. "Mommy won't be here in a while. Do you remember your surgery?" he asked and Castle glanced at him clearly puzzled.

"Yes."

"Mommy is having one now" he admitted.

"But mommy had a healthy heart, grandpa?" she part asked, part stated.

"Yes, Honey, but... but very bad man hurt her. Now we have to wait for doctors to fix it" he said with despair evident in his voice now.

"Don't worry, grandpa. Mommy is going to be fine. She promised me she'll never leave" she told him, sure of herself.

Jim just send her a sad smile.

"I hope you're right."

"I am, you'll see. I think I'm going to sleep now. Will you wake me when doctors show up?" she asked, and her eyelids were slowly closing.

"Of course, Honey. Now, sleep." Jim stroked her back in gentle circles, hugging her more to his chest. Castle took his jacket off and put it around his partner's child.

"Thank you, Mr. Castle" she said softly before falling asleep.

* * *

After some period of time, Lanie offered to bring everybody a cop of coffee, what they gratefully accepted. Castle only thought about Kate's smile when he was bringing her skim latte sugar-free vanilla, only hoping to have this opportunity again.

5 hours later, their wait was finally over. All three of them tensed when they saw a doctor slowly approaching them. What caught their attention was surgical margin covered with blood and his face from which they couldn't read anything.

"Mr. Beckett?" the doctor asked, looking at Jim who just nodded in confirmation.

"I'm not going to lie, this operation was hard, your daughter's heart stopped twice" he paused for a moment. "But she's alive and we believe that everything is going to be fine" he smiled.

"When can we see her?" asked Castle.

"As soon as she's awake, but only family members" the doctor informed. Everybody nodded in acknowledgment and after a while, they heard a sleepy voice whispering "See? I told you so. She's not going to leave." All three of them smiled, Jim kissed his granddaughter's head and smiled at the men beside him, because their girl was still with them.

* * *

Author's note:

I'm really thankful for all the reviews, you guys are amazing, really, I can't even find words to describe how happy I am.

 **SuzyJane82** , I'm going to explain all of it, I can't give away everything now, but I can promise that I will fill some of those holes, I have it already planned ;)

 **myincoherentthoughts** , I'm speechless, Thank You so very much, you don't even know how much I was smiling after I read your review :3

 **Lb** , I'll try to work on that :)


	4. Chapter 4

"I'm going to the precinct, I'll tell boys she's okay and we'll try to find something about the shooter." Lanie informed when the doctor disappeared. Now, when she was peaceful about her best friend's condition, she could leave without any hesitation. As an ME she knew quite well that Kate wasn't going to wake up at least for the next two hours and there wasn't any possibility that she could see her afterward, so she could do more good in the morgue or at the 12th.

Castle decided to do the same, but instead of heading to the station he went home to see his family. Of course, he asked Jim about any kind of information about when he could see her. He also left his jacket there for the little girl who was half-asleep on Jim's lap.

* * *

The writer entered his loft only to be greeted by his mother, who stood in the kitchen with a glass of wine and a worried expression on her face.

"Oh, Richard, kiddo, finally!" she shouted and approached her son, taking him in her arms at the very same moment.

"How is she, how is Katherine, is she okay?" she asked one question after another.

"She's as fine as she can be. She's alive, but her heart stopped twice and she's still asleep. Noone can see her but Jim and... and her daughter."

"That poor girl. Oh, Richard."

"I know, mother, I know. Where is Alexis?" he asked when he hasn't seen her anywhere.

"She is in her room. She's shaken up, Richard. I haven't seen her like that from a long time" she informed, worried about her granddaughter. "She didn't talk with me when she came back" she added.

Castle just squeezed her hand and headed upstairs. When he stood in front of the doors leading to his daughter's room he took a deep breath, knocked and without waiting for an answer stepped in.

Alexis was sitting on her bed, her eyes were red from crying. She just looked so small and upset. Rick came closer and sat on the bed beside her. He took her hand and looked at her with a questioning look, she just closed her eyes and hugged him tight. They were sitting like that for a long time, Castle was gently stroking her hair to give her some comfort when he finally asked what was wrong. It's not like he didn't know that the shooting got to her, but it was a well-known fact that talking was helping a little with the pain.

"What's not, dad?" she sobbed.

"She's alive, pumpkin" he said as to comfort her.

"That's great dad, I was really afraid. I care about Kate a lot, you know that. But what were you thinking, jumping in front of a bullet like that?! You could have been killed! I could have lost you, Hope could have lost her mother, and I just, god, dad, I can't, it's just too much to take in" her voice broke at that.

Castle just held her tighter, murmuring comforting words to her. He hated this. Seeing his daughter like that was hurting him more than any physical pain. He just wanted for her to be happy, and now she was everything but that.

"Dad, I can't lose you. You're everything I have" redheaded girl whispered.

"You won't."

"You can't promise me that, dad, you just can't" she protested, looking him in the eyes and all Castle could see in them was pain.

"You're right" he sighed. "But I can promise you that I will do everything I can to be there for you, always. You have to trust me when I say that you're the most important thing in my life Alexis and If you..." he paused. "Just say a word and I'll stop shadowing Kate, I'll stop..."

"No dad, that's not what I want, that's what makes you happy" she interrupted. "But you can't do things like that ever again, okay?" she begged.

Castle touched her cheek and wiped away a single tear rolling from her eye.

"I won't" he promised and kissed her forehead.

"She never told you she has a daughter" Alexis stated.

"No, no she didn't" he confirmed and smiled gently at her.

"She's great, you know?" she asked. "Hope."

"Yeah?" Castle asked to give her a sign to continue. He wanted to distract her mind from the shooting. He also wanted to know something about this girl and since Alexis spend some time with her, she could tell him something. It was a kind of mutual benefit for them.

"Yeah. She's the sweetest girl I know, she's so kind, and nice, talkative and open. We went to see her friend, she wanted to help her all the time dad, she was so great at cheering her up" she said with amazement.

"What is wrong with that girl?"

"You mean with Sophia or Hope? As for Hope, I don't know much, only that she can't do anything that could make her tired. As for Sophia... well, I don't know much about her either, but, oh dad, she was so weak, she had to lay in bed all the time, she said that she couldn't move because her heart needed help with pumping her blood, and dad, she's only four, no child should experience something like that. Why such a small kids have to be in so much ache?" she asked with pain. Castle's heart broke at that too because his daughter was right, no child deserves to be ill.

"That's terrible, pumpkin, but I hope that Sophia is going to be fine eventually. There's not much we can do" he said. And even when this little girl's fate was horrible and unfair, his mind was focused more on Kate, Hope and Alexis. He wanted to see Beckett, but he couldn't. He wanted to comfort Alexis and he didn't know how, becouse hugging didn't seem to be helping. And he wanted to help Hope, but he didn't even know what was wrong with her, hell, he didn't know anything about her.

"Hope is not as ill as Sophia, you know? She said she's going to be fine now" Alexis informed him, she knew Kate was important to her father and Hope was a part of her after all. She had to give him something. Castle just breathed a sigh of relief and once more hugged his daughter praying that everything would be all right.

* * *

A week passed and Castle was more worried now than he was at the time of the shooting. Every day he was going to the precinct, but in spite of all the effort he and the boys were putting in finding the sniper, they had nothing. In addition to all of this Alexis was still dealing with everything that happened and he still couldn't see his partner.

Rick was sitting in his office, looking at Kate's photo on his laptop. He was deep in thoughts when his phone rang on his desk. He picked it up and saw an unknown number, but he decided to answer it nonetheless.

"Castle" he said in greeting.

"Rick, It's Jim. Katie was transferred to a regular room today. You can see her."


	5. Chapter 5

After Castle got the phone call from Jim he was even more nervous than before. Now, he was standing in front of a mirror in his huge, modern bedroom and was trying different shirts as to look good for the time when he finally see Kate. He was stressed and excited at the same time. He could finally see her, look into her beautiful eyes, h see that she was really alive. But, on the other hand, he didn't know if she remembered her shooting, what he said to her, if yes – how would she react? If not, then was he brave enough to ever tell her again? He loved her more than life and he wanted to be with her more than anything, but were his feelings mutual?

In the end, he decided to wear one of his light-blue shirts, the one that he was sure Beckett liked most. He always saw the look on her face when he had this one on him.

With one last look in the mirror, he walked out of the bedroom toward the front door of his loft.

"Good luck, kiddo, don't scare the girl away," Martha said.

Castle just send her a nervous smile and disappeared behind the doors.

* * *

Half an hour later he was standing in front of her room which was now guarded by two uniforms whom he recognized from the 12th. He nodded at them and walked through the door.

His gaze automatically landed on her silhouette. She was a little pale, her hair were a mess, but to him, she looked more beautiful than ever. She was here, alive, and at that moment nothing had been more important.

Kate smiled at him shyly and bite her lower lip, clearly not knowing what to say or how to act. He also was at lose of words, but he needed to hear her voice and most importantly – he wanted some explanation about her daughter, who was now sleeping beside her mother.

"Hi, it's good to see you," he said and came closer to the bed.

"Back at you, Castle" she whispered softly. "I believe it's yours" she added gesturing at his jacket which was lying on a chair. Castle looked at it and nodded.

"Yeah. I gave it to Hope when she fell asleep" he shrugged. "

"Thank you for that. I know you must have a lot of questions..."

"I do, but I'm really glad you're okay, Kate and I understand if you don't want to tell me now about, well, everything..."

"I... I'll tell you, Castle, but you have to wait, Hope is going to wake up soon, she'll go to my dad, then we can talk" Beckett told him and then looked at her daughter.

"How are you doing?" he asked, even doe she didn't seem to be in much pain, she was Kate Beckett after all, strong, independent cop who known how to mask signs of weakness.

"I'm better now. They are giving me some painkillers, I don't know what for, thou."

"You don't..." was he hearing her correctly? "Kate, you had been shot, you..."

"I know Castle, but it's not as bad as it seems, it's just a little bullet" she was defending. Castle just stared at her, in too much of a shock to even respond to her without yelling.

"You can't be serious, Beckett" he began slowly, but a quiet voice interrupted him.

"Mommy?" asked Hope and with her small hand, she touched Kate's cheek.

"Yes, princess?" Her mother asked, but the little brunette just grimaced and all Kate could do was smile and say "but you are", as always when she reacted like that. _Even after all this time_ , Kate thought, and for a moment went down to a memory lane.

* * *

 _Hope was sitting with her mother on a couch in her grandfather house where she was supposed to stay for two or more days because her mommy was working on a very hard case. It's been their mother-daughter bonding time and they were about watching some movie, but Hope, as always, was very skeptical when it came to her mother's choice._

 _"I don't want to watch 'Tangled' " she was saying stubbornly. "Mommy, you know I don't like princesses" she protested._

 _"I know, Hope, but give it a chance? Maybe you'll enjoy it" she was pushing it, she knew, but she wanted her daughter to believe in happily ever after, to put a little hope in her little, beautiful heart._

 _"I won't."_

 _"You will."_

 _"Why?"_

 _"Because I think it's time to be just a girl, not a fighter, Honey, you're my little girl, you won, you're strong, you're perfect and everything is going to be just fine" she explained while playing with her daughter's hair. Kate knew she loved it, it made her feel safe in some way._

 _"Mommy..." she said shyly, clearly embarrassed "I won't like it."_

 _"Hope" she sighed "Maybe you won't, but you know what? You won, again, we will watch something else. There is a pretty princess that I love, anyway, I don't need to watch any other."_

 _"Really? Who?" Hope asked, her green eyes were shining with curiosity._

 _"You, little girl." Beckett smiled and kissed her forehead._

 _"I'm not a princess, Mommy" she answered sadly. Even doe she never liked them she wanted to be one, she wanted to have a life like in a fairytale._

 _"Oh, but you are, my angel. Don't you ever doubt it" Kate assured her and hugged as strong as she could._

 _"Even with this?" the girl asked, pointing at her surgical scar, which was now hidden under a plain white t-shirt. The mother just caressed her daughter's cheek and looked her in the eye with love._

 _"Always."_

* * *

"Did you have a good nap?" Kate asked without looking at Castle. She was aware of the fact that the writer had been looking at them with interest and that she made him angry, but her daughter was more important.

"Yes" she answered with a voice a little hoarse from a sleep. "Hello, Mr. Castle" Hope said when she noticed him. He just smiled at her and waved in a welcoming gesture.

"I'm hungry, mommy" she added.

"You are, aren't you" Beckett said when her daughter stomach growled. "You know what? Maybe you'll go to your grandpa, he should be in the cafeteria, you remember where it is, right? I'm sure he is going to buy you something delicious."

Hope nodded her head and smiled.

"Of course I know, Mommy. Do you think he'll get me a pumpkin pie?"

"I'm sure of it" Kate assured.

Hope kissed her cheek, scrambled from the bed and walked out, leaving her mother with her's partner. For a moment an awkward silence collapsed between them, but the detective was first to break it.

"I'm sorry" she apologized. "I know you're worried, but I am sick of the looks the doctors are giving me, sick of seeing worried expression on my father's face, sick of Hope's curious staring, I just want something normal, Castle" she explained, and all Rick could think about was that she had been honest, maybe for the first time in her life she talked to him so openly, and for what it's worth – he was glad. Even if it could be the effect of her meds, he was glad.

"I'm sorry, too. It's just been so close, Kate" his eyes wandered to the ground.

"I know, and I will never thank you enough for saving my life, my dad said if it weren't for you, I would be dead now. God, Castle, why was I so stupid? I could have to leave Hope alone, she could lose me just like I lost my mother..." she started mumbling.

Castle just stared at her sadly. Her dad said... so she didn't remember after all. Maybe it was better that way?

"You don't have to thank me, Kate, I'm your partner, that's my job" he said, putting his feelings aside, her well-being was more important.

"And you are the best at it, Castle. Truly" she smiled.

 _well_ the writer thought, _look what painkillers can do to you, Beckett_

"Thanks" he just answered, he couldn't tell her that he failed this time, it was not the right time for his pity party.

They were sitting there for a while just staring at each other, finally, Kate had enough of the uncomfortable silence which was so unfamiliar to them.

"So... Hope" she began. "I know you have many questions, so, ask away."

"If you don't feel like..."

"No, Castle, you should have known about her a long time ago, so I'm going to answer every question you have, I owe you that" she was determined.

"No, you don't" _yes, you do._

"Castle" she glared at him.

He wanted to know, he needed to, so why was he delaying it?

"Okay, right, so..." he started, momentary lack of questions. "Why... why kept her a secret, Kate?" Yup, that seemed like a good start.

"You probably know she was, well, is sick. I never wanted you to look at me with compassion, hell, I never wanted anybody to look at me this way. Apart from that, I am a cop and a single mother with that kind of job? You know how it would look like at the precinct" she said. Well, it fitted her perfectly, not wanting to show her soft side, that she was a human, that she had a hard time.

"I understand, but Kate, how did you manage to, you know... hide her?"

"I'm not going to say that was easy, but if you want something really bad it is possible. Most of her time she was spending here, in this hospital, I was staying with her most of the time, at least when I had some free time from the job. When she was out of here, she was mostly with my dad, well, when we had a case, which was, as you know, pretty often, that's why you never saw her, or why she wasn't, thank God, there when my apartment blow away."

That made sense, at least as much sense as Kate's decisions could make.

"If you don't mind me asking..." Castle became slowly – he knew this questions will be hard for her, but he had to know. "Why was she staying here so much? And who's her father, Kate?"

She was looking at him for a moment, as if she was thinking what to say, or maybe how? He wasn't sure.

"You don't have" he started when she was silent for a longer time.

"No, no, it's fine, I just... it's fine" she stopped him. "Her father is, well" she laughed nervously. "It's Will, Sorenson, the F.B.I.."

"Yeah, yeah, I remember" _what?_

Kate just nodded.

"As for her health" it was without a doubt hard topic for her. But it was nothing weird, he was a parent himself, he known how much child's health and well-being was important. "She had been diagnosed with PS, which stands for pulmonary stenosis, but she is fine now, or as fine as she can be, but the worst of it is behind us, Castle. Now we will be just fine, me and her with our little scars."

* * *

 **A/N: I'm really sorry for such a long pause in posting the chapters. I have a very hard time at the university.**

 **I also didn't have much time to check this part, so I hope there is not a lot of mistakes.**

 **I hope you'll enjoy!**


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